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Merkley Campaign Wants to Know Where I'm Going to Stick It

Posted by Dan on February 13, 2008 at 12:10 p.m. in Portland, Politics, Oregon
Tags: bumper-sticker buttocks merkley novick senate
What's the best place for my free bumper sticker? What's the most hilarious?

In case you haven't heard, Jeff Merkley is giving away free bumper stickers, which I think is okay. We here at Witigonen, some of us being shameless mercenaries, would rather get T-Shirts. (Did you get that, Carla? T-SHIRTS) Anyway, I'll take all the free stuff I can get, and I started on down the sticker request form. Pretty standard questions until you get to the bottom, "Where are you going to put your bumper sticker?"

I guess I could go ahead and tell the boring truth, "On Erin's Snowboard," but what fun is that? I can't put it on my car because it's not mine and it cost more than God, so I've got to think of a good answer. The first one that comes to mind is "buttocks". Or maybe "Over neighbor's 'Novick for Senate' sticker"; "Over naughty bits while streaking at a Blazers' game"; or even "Over my Novick for Senate sticker". Michael's suggestion was "Over Gordon Smith's Fat Face" - a sentiment I can definitely get behind.

So, I suggest you throw Jon Isaacs for a loop - tell him you're going to affix it firmly to your back and pull it off in a violent spray of hair and blood if Merkley isn't elected. Where are you putting your bumper sticker?


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  • I already have one on my car, so I don't really need another. But it's always fun to imagine. Perhaps over certain rabid mouths... amongst other fun places.

    Maybe up-and-down Harry Reid's spine...

    Posted by Ben on February 13, 2008 at 12:46 p.m.

  • How about on Barak Obama's forehead!

    I have an opinion

    Posted by: Opinionated on February 14, 2008 at 11:24 p.m.

  • Dear Dan:

    I've got your mercenary tshirt sitting in my office (umm..what size do you want?) The hitch is, you have to meet with me to get it.

    Think you're tough enough? :)

    Posted by: carla on February 16, 2008 at 7:00 a.m.

    • I'm quite certain that I'm not tough enough. And I'd like a medium. I used to get larges, but I've finally come to terms with the fact that I am tiny man.

      Posted by Dan on February 16, 2008 at 3:27 p.m.

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