It has recently come to my attention, through the diligent editorial board of the New York Times, that cupcakes are the shit. From the article:

As we know, cupcakes have had a whopping resurgence: they are retro-food chic, the thing to eat for people in the know.

Now, we're in Portland, and they're in New York. I can understand a cultural divide, though I think that it is much more likely that other forces are at work. However, the cupcake issue is apparently, well, an actual issue.

When included on lists of treats that parents are discouraged or forbidden to send to school — and when those policies are, say, put to a vote at the P.T.A. — “cupcakes are deal breakers,” Professor Nestle said. “It sounds like a joke, but it’s a very serious problem on a number of levels. You have to control it.”

No, it.. it really just sounds like a joke. Unfortunately I think it's an ongoing trend in our school system to just be.. well.. completely fucked up in general. However, the article also presents a much more serious problem.

This could have something to do with the fact that in the modern age, the cupcake may be more American than apple pie — “because nobody is baking apple pies,” Professor Nestle explained.

Ahah! The truth comes out! The real problem with America - with our schools, with our foreign policy, even the pathetic state of the dollar - is that there isn't enough pie!

Specifically, apple.

And pecan.

You should get on that, America. We need more pie. I'll be doing my part tonight - will you?