FeedsPreparation for a long drive
So, I know that zeppelins were briefly mentioned in an earlier post, and that got me thinking: what the hell am I going to do on my forthcoming 15-hour drive to Portland? I currently live and work in Los Angeles, or at least I will until next Tuesday, when I make my glorious return to our Rose City. It has been a long time coming and, considering the epic car ride I face, there are a few obstacles left to hurdle.
Unlike our cushy zeppelin, I won't be able to indulge myself in the lap of luxury while I cruise along the I-5 through the middle of California and Oregon. Even worse, I'll be subjected to the harsh manures of California's central valley and its ever-widening herds of cattle. Although they do make for good steaks at Harris Ranch, I'm more vegetarian than not, and they stink to high hell. I certainly won't be sipping a highball while some well-coiffed pilot churns my beautiful flying dirigible gently through the sky. Hell, I'll be lucky to be sipping on a Snapple while I vainly try to recirculate the stale air through my Hyundai.
So, that leads us to the inevitable: how the hell will I survive! I've made the journey before, but that was on a day with two, count-em TWO BCS bowl games (with one being an absolute epic back-and-forth struggle), stopping only to pee and get gas. Now that I'm not in college anymore, I worry for my stamina. So, here are our options to keep me alive:
* Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods audio book, burned into my IPOD.
Okay, that's all I have. I do have some short stories-on-tape and a lot of Bruce Springsteen, but that can only get you so far. Maybe if I play "Born to Run" a few dozen times, I'll either think of something to occupy myself or get bored and listen to country radio. Oh, and that reminds me: you hear the strangest radio out in central California. You get a raw mix of old-oldies (1940s) with ultra-conservative talk radio that makes you want to bore holes in your eardrums so the lies don't ring home.
So, please do help. I appreciate any and all suggestions to make my end-run to Portland as wonderful as possible. Maybe I should just pin a picture of our Mayor on my steering wheel and think "there's no place like home, there's no place like home"...
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Comments
Comments from site editors have a darker background than comments from everybody else.I can only hope that that beard signifies that Potter is not running. It is a very retirementy beard, don't you think? Kind of an old Hemingway sort of thing? Ooo! We should pitch in and get him a birthday present! I think an entry to this competition might be in order.
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Here's a fine picture of my beloved author, in the height of hirsute glory. And if that doesn't do it for you, there's always this. A lion in winter indeed!
As for our Mayor's beard, it has a come-by-the-fire-and-I'll-tell-you-a-story-of-better-days feel to it, doesn't it? I don't get a mountain man vibe as much as a warm and fuzzy, grandfatherly notion. Indeed it may signal that it's time for our Mayor to gracefully retire.
And, as for presents, I still say a ride on our zeppelin would do. Can't you see the mayor wearing something like this and being extremely dapper in our flying palace?
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You're right; Potter with that hat on a zeppelin would be totally awesome.
Actually, Potter with that hat in general is a great image.
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The only problem with that image is it's a little loaded- the captain that wore that hat had this happen to him. Not a good day for that hat, indeed!
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Oh oh oh, maybe he's growing it out for Christmas so he can be Portland's Santa!
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That might be right, and he might also be growing it out sooner so Christmas can come early this year for Commissioner Adams and a few lucky Council hopefuls who are counting on his retirement.
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